Friday, November 22, 2013

Colorado Kool-Aid

And this ain't no fucking lite beer!

Party time USA! Forever!

Brock"freedom ain't free" Steel

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Moab Model Madness

What do you get when you put the dynamic mullet-ed duo in the middle of the desert with nothing but geetars, beer, and climbing gear?


Throw in some mega rad, 400ft mudstone towers PLUS super sexy model babes from the bone planet Dynamite. Then what do you get?!


After gaining the 2x2ft summit of Ancient Art, Brock and I furiously plucked at our geetars until they began to scream back at the blistering desert sun. The force alone knocked me off balance and Betsy and I (Betsy, my sexy black axe) fell from the summit of the tower. But thankfully, big strong Brock-o was prepared on belay. He caught my fall and I only spent a few seconds whipping through outer space. The fall was a bit jarring but being the testosterone-overloaded, muscle-laden, he-man super stoke that I am, I climbed up and joined Brock back at the summit.

Smart men wear helmets. Lucky for me I was a smart man that day!

Now, with both of us on the summit we played the song that would define the century. The song with the dirtiest riffs and the radest licks. The song that would split the sky apart and would make the forever stoke rain down for years to come. The song that--well, maybe just watch the video and get stoked yourself:

After tearing the stratosphere a new sonic bunghole, we sped off into the desert in search of our beer stash. Along the way we stumbled across a Kate Bellm photo shoot for the models from the bone planet Dynamite! They took one look at us with our sweaty staches and masculine mullets and practically BEGGED us to pose with them. The model babes must have gotten caught in the trap of Brock’s signature scent (dirt, beer, sweat, smoke, beer, and a ton-o-rad) because they immediately swarmed him. The poor guy could hardly play a quick song with me without the aphrodisiac drunken lady babes hugging his picking arm.

One of the models got so caught up in the moment she practically threw herself at Brock. After a minute or two of pleading she got him to whip out is bodacious bicep AND he even let her place a tender, supple kiss upon the magnificent thing. What a lucky lady she was that day.

Brock was so inspired by the young beauties passion for him that he decided to make a public service announcement addressed to all the bitties out there.

Ladies: Prepare yourself for the best 2 minutes and 51 seconds of your life.

Doods: Prepare to redefine your sexuality.

Seriously ladies, feel free to hollar at your big man Brock-o! I'm talking to you, MODELS!

Party Time USA

Rex "BonerJamz" Mckenzie
Brock "Freedom Ain't Free" Steel

Sunday, November 10, 2013


And now moment you've all been waiting for: the music video for our finger-blistering-sandstone-ragefest at Zion National Park. Prepare yourself for live concert footage, icy cold rivers, epic climbs, pasty white thighs, horses, deer, and of course beer.




Party Time USA

Rex "BonerJamz" McKenzie
Brock"Freedom Ain't Free" Steel

Friday, November 8, 2013


Where have the last 3 days gone???

Oh that's right, they went to raging hard in one of the most beautifully gnar places in the spaces:  ZION!!! For all ya'll foolie fools who don't know, Zion National Park is home to some of the sandiest-sandbagged-sick-nasty-sandstone this side of Saturn. With all of the rad routes to climb here (not to mention the lack of wifi) we lost track of time and forgot to keep the old b-log updated...Woops!!

Here's a quick recap:

We met up with our good friends Dick Dower, Dakota Walz, Jeremy Collins, and Corbin Brady. 

We climbed some sick routes in preparation for our main objective, Moonlight Buttress:

We climbed three pitches of world class rock in the pitch black of night. Then, deciding that it was time to go back to camp and drink some beer, we fixed 400 ft off rope and repelled to the ground. After a hardy night of party we woke up the next morning and jugged back up to our high point. 

After juggling back to our high point we hauled our geetars up in the haul bag behind us. Along with all our climbing gear that is a loooot of metal. Heavy metal. Can ya dig it?

After another 200ft of stellar aid climbing we ran into a problem. There were 2 parties above us also trying to reach the summit before sunset. Upon reaching the main roof in the center of the route our buzz was completely killed by the slow parties above. If we were to ever make it back to camp in time to party we would have to bail! So, being the rational doods we are, we pulled ropes and rapelled off the route.

Then we met all the nature. And got in touch with our spirit aminals. 

After 3 days of getting down and dirty in Zion it started to get too cold for the Brock-inator and his snot started to freeze on his stache.

As if all these sexy photos were not enough for ya we're currently working on the manliest, hairiest, rockenest music video we've shot yet. Stay posted for the release in the next day or so!!

Party Time USA

Rex "BonerJamz" Mckenzie

Saturday, November 2, 2013

The Party Rolls On

On this morning the desert sun comes down hard like hot lightning in my eyes. The twisted stale-sweet arome of smoke, broken dreams, perfume, glitter, and bad decions emits from the both of us. Like a shadow belonging to the night before, it vaguely reminds us of who we are and what we have done. Needless to say, our last night in the City of Lost Wages was one stellar party!!

We hooked up with SinClaire the Dinosour again for one more titilating tour of the city. We hit a few casinos, played a few guitar solos, got kicked out of a club once or twice, and found our way to some of the dirt-filth-nastiest strip clubs this disgustingly dope city had to unveil.  

Seeing as Las Vages seems to know how to party pretty hard already, it is time for us to get back on the boogey bus and haul ass to our next destination. Before we could leave though we had to have one last jam session with the super-incredi-rad couple who put up with our crazy-consta-partying all week; DICK AND NATALIE!!!!!

Along with with their new pup, Munchcin, these two legendary climbers gave us a place to sleep, eat, shower our sins away, and even taught us a little about how they keep their own party going through out the years. There isn't enough time between climbs to thank them enough for everything they have done for us. As crazy as it sounds, this week WE are the ones learning secrets of the forever stoke from an EARTHLING. Let alone TWO of them!! 

They may have had a lot to teach us about being rad climbers but it was Brock and I who taught them how to make it look gooooood!!

And so, we said our farewells to Dick n Nat, all Brock's favorite strippers, and of course, the mountains that allowed our thunderous-face-grinding geetar riffs to penetrate the stratosphere and glaze the land in a thick hazey glow of super stoke.

Part Time USA

Rex "BonerJamz" Mckenzie