Saturday, October 26, 2013

Shredding Against Hate

We got on the road a bit later than we intended (Brock was hung over and could not find his pants). But the stoke. The stoke started early.

We were only like, two hours out of our last party spot in Kansas City before we realized there was gnar to be shred.  Apparently, a nasty anus of evil had been growing in the town of Topeka Kansas. And that's like, way not cool.  This particular pool of puke is known as the West Borough "Baptist" Church or, as Brock would say; "Hate mongering anus of the three headed bigot beast from the double hell of Saturn". So, being the handsomely hairy doods we are, we decided we would stop by and lay our sick healing licks on that anus!

Glorious flowing mullets.
Intense testosterone infused mustaches. 

No pants.  

We were powerful with our thick middle fingers standing tall with righteous justice in the morning sun. We stood in the shadows of the anus as we laid down one epic, all-geetar-solo cover of "It's Raining Men". This planet had never heard anything so rad. Hearing our sonic justice piercing her black heart, the beast turned it's ugly head to us and revealed the filthiest sight known to man. Upon the sight of their leader, FuckNutz McGee, we held strong and finished our sick song. The leader of the beast was wounded badly but not yet slain. 

Before we could begin our second assault of block rockin beats, an idea struck me like the great lightning bolt of Saturn Thor. Could it be that a beast born from the cess pools of hate could not be stopped by only sick jamz and more hate? There was only one thing left we could do. Thinking quickly, I had Brock dig out all of his left over strip club ones and stuff them into the donation box at the gay pride sanctuary across the street! Seeing this, the head of abomination reeled in defeat. 

It was only 10 am. 

The day was already ours.

Soon we were back in our tour bus, The Interstellar Flying Freedom All-terrain Navigation Yacht (T.I.F.F.A.N.Y.). Within no time at all we came upon the gateway to the true land of FREEDOOOOM. 

Party Time USA

-Rex "BonerJamz" Mckenzie 

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