Thursday, October 31, 2013

Pine Creek Canyon Shred Fest


Today my bodacious bra, Brock and I stormed back into the desert to show the dirt and rocks just how rad our dirty rock show can be. Brock hauled our guitars through all the brush, cactus, thorns, and everything else in the desert that just wants to hurt you. Meanwhile I carried the ropes and laughed as his dumb face got our geetars caught on every vine and twig in the canyon. That blonde jerk is lucky my axe still has strings on it!

Like a champion, I lead us up our route, Cookie Monster/Cat in the Hat.  Move after move I made my way up the wall. The sun beat down and my mustache sweat kept my lips moist and hydrated. I could taste the pulsing power of testosterone in my sweat. It fueled our assent to the peak. 

Like a super mule Brock, lugged both our geetars up the wall. I might give this dummy a lot of shit but he is one rugged, mulleted man. All men should shutter before him in shame and jealousy. And all women well, you saw that crotch thrust. Tell me you don't need a slice o that piiiie!

We summited, played a crazy epic-ear-bleeding-rage-inducing tribute to the shred Gods of the outer verse, and rapped from our route in just about 3 hours. Something about having the righteous duty of shredding from a mountaintop has super charged our climbing abilities and filled our hearts to burst. What more can a man want from life other than to climb mountains, play hour long geetar solos on top of them, and finish the day with a couple bottles of Jack?

Check out the video Brock made of our gnarly assent today:

Party Time USA

Rex "BonerJamz" Mckenzie

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