We've been travel'n and climb'n and rock'n the Earth for a long time now. From it's dirtbag desert parties to it's super human stoke factory of awesome climbers, we've been blown away by how righteous this planet can be. Nothin could have prepared us though for how powerful this freaking piece of rock could be! Like the towering beautiful Golden Godess of Saturn's Savage Rings Sector, El Capitan leans impenetrable with complete dominance of the valley. Yet she stands uncontrollably enticing.
Brock and I became fatigued just from craning our necks to look up in awe at the thing. We began to get very dizzy and exhausted. Maybe it was all the beer and Its-It ice cream cookies or maybe it really was just the sheer power of El Cap. What ever it was, we woke up in the meadow a few hours later from a pre-send power-nap. Feeling fresh and feisty Brock, suggested we stand on top of the granite behemoth and do the ceremonial Orangutan O-lectric Slide on it's head. I couldn't think of a better way to spend the day, so we finished our post nap beers and hiked up to climb it's easiest free route, The East Buttress.
After a perfect day of incredibly fun cracks, small roofs, chimneys, off widths, faces, water falls, and vertigo inducing views, we summited a few thousand feet above the valley floor. If ever the rumored wells of infinite stoke existed they might be found somewhere in between this dance floor and Half Dome in the distance.
Blown away by all the shred potential the valley had to offer we quickly made our way back down to scope out our next climb. When we got back to the meadow our new friend, Donkey D*ck Dave, greeted us with champagne and grilled foods. We toasted to the beauty of the valley and to the absence of any park strangers ruining our good times.
The next day our homie Pat suggested we climb the world class Royal Arches with him.Without hesitation B-rock strapped my face melting riff machine to back and we ventured on up this historical peace of rock. In homage to the beauty and quality of the route, I played The Danger Zone by the one and only Kenny Loggins a few times. I flexed the good ol rock cannons once or twice as well... just for good measure.
The Royal Arches could not have lived up to their hype more. Beautiful waterfalls, gorgeous splitter cracks, and rock climbing's first pendulum swing? Perfecto Respecto Gorgeoso!!
I know what you're thinking right now:
"Ya cool whatever, but where is the new video of you losers playing geetars on top of rocks and stuff??"
Never fear! B-rock-shiz-nasty is editing footage RIGHT NOW! Hold tight and our next video will be up for your eyeballs's viewing pleasure in no time!!
Party Time Yosemite
-Rex "BonerJamz" McKenzie
Brock "Freedom Ain't Free" Steel